I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
