dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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