She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
