This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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