what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
