At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
