Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
