What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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