I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
