super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
