I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
