Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
