I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
