Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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