I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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