gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
