i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
