I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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