New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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