how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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