I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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