Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
