Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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