i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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