thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
