moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
