is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
