It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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