apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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