How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
