she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We need a shit load of segways right now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
