I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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