I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Come see our sink grown plant.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
