are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
