yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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