new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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