That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
