It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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