is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
