I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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