and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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