Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
