Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
