He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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