how can u be prego again
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
