I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
