Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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