just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
