new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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