2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
