What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When are your genitals available?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
