shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
