I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We got so high we made milksteak
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
