he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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