i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
