TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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